


One Hoe to Go

by Arnemia



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Nothing Explicit Happens, OC is a prostitute, Sorry if you were looking for that, but it's only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 12:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14715906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arnemia/pseuds/Arnemia
Summary: In which Dirk just wanted to buy a new jacket, but ended up buying a prostitute.





	One Hoe to Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there :)  
> Dirk can talk in quiet a cryptic and confusing way. So I wrote this. Enjoy my first fic on here and tell me what you think.
> 
> PS: English isn't my first language, so please report any mistakes you might find. (Especially commas, I have no idea where I'm supposed to put them.)

“Hiii”, Dirk waved while approaching a bald, shady looking guy.

“What you want?”, said shady guy asked, sounding pretty pissed off. And Dirk hadn't even started to ask questions yet.

“I'm looking for a new addition to my beautiful collection. Todd, my best friend and assistant, insisted on me coming here.”

“You lucky, we having new stuff tonight.”

Dirk tried not to be distracted by the other man's bad grammar. It would probably be rude and he had already spoiled things with the last three men he had approached.

“Oh that's great indeed!”

“What you like?”

“I want to get in touch with my feminine side. I want to show that I'm proud of all my facets.”

The man nodded knowingly and grinned. “So looking for soft female to touch you?”

“More or less, yes.” Dirk wasn't so sure whether the other man really understood what he wanted, but he promised Todd to be more patient with others as his phrasing apparently often confused people. 

“What you like? Name, colour, size?”

“Oh, I didn't think about that! Hmm... Maybe rose or violet? What would you suggest?”

“Rose not here tonight, but can get Violet.”

“Wonderful, how much would that be?”

“For hour or night?”

A puzzled look crossed Dirk's face. “So, you're only renting them?” Who rents jackets? He let out a disappointed sigh. “I actually wanted to buy one....so I could keep it”, he added for clarification.

The man shook his head. “No keeping.”

“Are you sure? I'll pay more if I have to, but we're gonna leave the county tomorrow and I'd like to be prepared for a possibly really long trip.”

“Need that bad?”, the other asked and seemed to weigh his options. “Violet pretty shit lately, not many men want her. Give us lots trouble. How much money you have?”

“Well, how much do you want? I'm sure I could get enough by dawn.”

The man grinned and named a horrendous price. Dirk gulped. Was this jacket made of unicorn leather or what? Todd had said, he shouldn't come back unless he had bought something on this specific street and Dirk's time was running out.

“Can I at least try it before I buy it?”, Dirk asked hopefully.

“Pay price for night and you can try.”

Dirk nodded, got his wallet out and gave him the money.

The bald guy shouted something in another language, the only word he understood was 'Violet'. At first he wasn't sure at whom his instructions were directed, but some moments later a bulky man came out of the door behind his business associate and shouted something back. Then he grabbed someone behind him and shoved a young, frail looking woman through the door onto the street.

“Here have Violet. Try out and pay rest. If you run with her or don't pay, I'll find you and brake all bones.”

Dirk was more than confused, but the woman looked at him with such hopeful eyes, that he didn't protest. 

“Oh yes, a prostitute, that was exactly what I wanted. Thank you very much.”

Dirk brought Violet back to their hideout and on the way home they had talked a bit. He found Violet to be a pleasant lady. She would make a great addition to the team.

Farah was confused at first, but cared for their new guest without asking a single question. Todd started to laugh tears, when he saw, that his prank had worked and only stopped laughing when he heard how much money they'd have to gather. Dirk would always find a way to cause them trouble.

“I guess we better make a run for it then, nothing new”, Todd sighed.

Dirk just smiled – being as positive as always. Violet was definitely way more interesting than a new jacket.


End file.
